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Beer Quotes

  • God has a brown voice- as soft and full as beer.
    Anne Sexton
  • Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
  • Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
  • Life is a waste of time- time is a waste of life- so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
  • Do not cease to drink beer- to eat- to intoxicate thyself- to make love- and to celebrate the good days.
    Ancient Egyptian Credo
  • The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.
    Ancient Egyptian wisdom
  • You can never buy beer- you just rent it.
    Archie Bunker
  • Life is too short to drink cheap beer.
  • Drink triple- see double- and act single.
  • I drink- therefore- I am.
  • Give a man a beer- he'll drink for the day. Teach a man to brew- he'll be drunk the rest of his life.
  • Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy.
    Benjamin Franklin
  • There can't be good living where there is not good drinking.
    Benjamin Franklin
  • ...Actually- I'm a drinker with writing problems.
    Brendan Behan
  • When we drink- we get drunk. When we get drunk- we fall asleep. When we fall asleep- we commit no sin. When we commit no sin- we go to heaven. Sooooo- let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
    Brian O'Rourke
  • You sit back in the darkness- nursing your beer- breathing in that ineffable aroma of the old-time saloon: dark wood- spilled beer- good cigars- and ancient whiskey - the sacred incense of the drinking man.
    Bruce Aidells
  • People who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
    Capital Brewery- Middleton- WI
  • Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
    Catherine Zandonella
  • SAM: What's new- Normie? NORM: Terrorists- Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer.
  • SAM: What'd you like- Normie? NORM: A reason to live. Give me another beer.
  • SAM: What'll you have Normie? NORM: Well- I'm in a gambling mood- Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap. SAM: Looks like beer- Norm. NORM: Call me Mister Lucky.
  • WOODY: What's the story- Mr. Peterson? NORM: The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending.
  • WOODY: Hey- Mr. Peterson- there's a cold one waiting for you. NORM: I know. If she calls- I'm not here.
  • WOODY: How's it going- Mr. Peterson? NORM: Poor. WOODY: I'm sorry to hear that. NORM: No- I mean pour.
  • WOODY: Pour you a beer- Mr. Peterson? NORM: All right- but stop me at one. Make that one-thirty.
  • WOODY: What's going on- Mr. Peterson? NORM: The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson? A beer please- Woody.
  • WOODY: How would a beer feel- Mr. Peterson? NORM: Pretty nervous if I was in the room.
  • SAM: What do you say- Norm? NORM: Any cheap- tawdry thing that'll get me a beer.
  • SAM: What do you know there- Norm? NORM: How to sit. How to drink. Want to quiz me?
  • COACH: Can I draw you a beer- Norm? NORM: No- I know what they look like. Just pour me one.
  • CLIFF: Hey- Norm- What's up? NORM: My blood-alcohol level.
  • Let us drink for the replenishment of our strength- not for our sorrow.
  • A fine beer may be judged with only one sip- but it's better to be thoroughly sure.
    Czech Proverb
  • The government will fall that raises the price of beer.
    Czech Saying
  • Without question- the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh- I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention- but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
    Dave Barry
  • When I heated my home with oil- I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.
    Dave Barry
  • All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
    Dave Barry
  • If God had intended us to drink beer- He would have given us stomachs.
    David Daye
  • Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
    David Moulton
  • Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire.
    David Rains
  • Wallace I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning- that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
    Dean Martin
  • If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer- I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
    Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
  • Life begins at 60 - 1.060- that is.
    Denny Conn
  • Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.
    Don Marquis
  • You're all wanking sissies if you even think about using a grain mill- teeth- or ball-peen hammer. A real brewer uses 17 vestal virgins stomping on the grain in a large wooden vat. And yeast is for losers. True brewers just dip one end of their dog into the wort to get things going.
    Drew Avis
  • Beer is a wholesome abounds with nourishment.
    Dr. Benjamin Rush- American physician
  • Quaintest thoughts- queerest fancies come to life and fade away. What care I how time advances; I am drinking ale today.
    Edgar Allan Poe
  • I decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with friends. I've lost 30 pounds.
    Ernest Hemingway
  • Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
    Ernest Hemingway
  • An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
    Ernest Hemmingway- For Whom the Bell Tolls
  • I'll have another beer. I'm not driving.
    Father Theodore- Trappist Monk
  • Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.
    Frekerick William
  • Beer does not make itself properly by itself. It takes an element of mystery and of things that no one can understand.
    Fritz Maytag- American brewer
  • I drink to make other people interesting.
    George Jean Nathan
  • If my mother was tied up and held ransom- I might think about making a light beer.
    Greg Koch- CEO and co-founder of Stone Brewing
  • Put it back in the horse!
    H. Allen Smith- after he drank his first American beer.
  • When I read about the evils of drinking- I gave up reading.
    Henny Youngman
  • All right- brain- I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
    Homer Simpson
  • Beer: The cause of- and solution to- all of life's problems.
    Homer Simpson
  • The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
    Humphrey Bogart
  • I'm Catholic and I can't commit suicide- but I plan to drink myself to death.
    Jack Kerouac
  • I meditate and put on a rubber tire with three bottles of beer. Most of the time I just sit picking my nose and thinking.
    James Gould Cozzens on what he does in his study.
  • Gimme a pigfoot and a bottle of beer.
    Janis Joplin
  • Why do I drink? So that I can write poetry.
    Jim Morrison
  • We're wanted men- we'll strike again- but first let's have a beer.
    Jimmy Buffett
  • The pub knows a lot- almost as much as the churches.
    Joyce Carey
  • Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
    Kaiser Welhelm
  • Life alas- is very drear. Up with the glass- down with the beer!
    Louis Untermeyer
  • Uncle Hank- V-8 juice has eight vitamins. Beer has one: barley.
    Luanne from King of the Hill
  • A pleasant apertif- as well as a good chaser for a short quick whiskey- as well again for a fine supper drink- is beer.
    M. F. K. Fisher- American writer
  • The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.
    Mark Twain
  • They didn't trademark everything back then. Now someone farts and they put a TM after it. Even Miller Lite says 'A Fine Pilsner Beer' on the label. It is a crime.
    Michael Jackson- the Beer Hunter
  • Women and drink. Too much of either can drive you to the other.
    Michael Still
  • I drink when I have occasion- and sometimes when I have no occasion.
    Miguel de Cervantes
  • I've always thought why no one has made a women's perfume to smell like beer. I know that would turn me on.
    Nate Sampson
  • Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
    Oscar Wilde
  • God made yeast- as well as dough- and he loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Beer has long been the prime lubricant in our social intercourse and the sacred throat-anointing fluid that accompanies the ritual of mateship. To sink a few cold ones with the blokes is both an escape and a confirmation of belonging.
    Rennie Ellis
  • What event is more awfully important to an English colony than the erection of its first brewhouse?
    Reverend Sidney Smith
  • The Church is near by the road is icy. The bar is far away but I will walk carefully.
    Russian Proverb
  • No- sir: There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn.
    Samuel Johnson
  • I would give all my fame for a pot of ale- and safety.
    Shakespeare- King Henry V
  • Bad men live that they may eat and drink- whereas good men eat and drink that they may live.
  • I recommend..bread- meat- vegetables- and beer.
  • I work until beer o'clock.
    Stephen King
  • There is more to life than beer alone- but beer makes those other things even better.
    Stephen Morris
  • Give beer to those who are perishing- wine to those who are in anguish;Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.
    The Bible- Proverbs- Chapter 31 verse 6 and 7
  • I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
    Tom Waits
  • I don't have a drinking problem- except when I can't find a drink.
    Tom Waits
  • A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
    W. C. Fields
  • Everybody should believe in something- I believe I'll have another drink.
    W. C. Fields
  • What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
    W.C. Fields
  • I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
    W.C. Fields
  • It is a fair wind that blew men to the ale.
    Washington Irving
  • They who drink beer will think beer.
    Washington Irving
  • The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk- they're sober.
    William Butler Yeats
  • I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
    Winston Churchill
  • Whiskey and Beer are a man's worst enemies... but the man that runs away from his enemies is a coward!
    Zeca Pagodinho (Brazilian songwriter)
  • Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
    Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods.
    Bruce Carlton
  • " Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer."
    Al Bundy
  • " WOODY: Hey- Mr. Peterson- what's up? NORM: The warranty on my liver."
  • "I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night." 
    Ancient Greek proverb
  • "He was a wise man who invented beer."
  • "You can't have a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team- or some nuclear weapons- but at the very least you need a BEER."
    Frank Zappa
  • "COACH: What would you say to a beer- Normie? NORM: Daddy wuvs you." 
  • "Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen- for example- there would be no way to make water- a vital ingredient in beer." 
    Dave Barry

Brewer of the Month

Congrats Tom Young!

I would like to thank the Mr Beer Community for this honor. My name is Tom Young. I received a Mr. Beer kit from my son this past Christmas, and I really never looked back. I loved the idea of home brewing, and realized quickly that I was into something that was not only fun and interesting, but also very rewarding.

My wife Carol and I have been married 28 years. We have two sons, aged 25 and 23.  I've been with MTA New York City Transit for twelve years as a Project Manager, and I've also worked at Grumman, Citicorp, and Entenmann's Bakery. I belong to Loyal Order of Moose, and enjoy riding my motorcycles, especially on long trips when I can get the time off. My wife and I like our pop-up camper as well.

I started with the West Coast Pale Ale that came with the first kit. I have to tell you that I will always remember the feeling of drinking the first chilled down brew, thinking it was good beer, and realizing the best was yet to come. I got into deluxe and premium refills, including ADIPA (which I’ve made both “as is” and some tweaking), and have kept up so far with the Seasonals. Sticky Wicket, which I added some DME and some Galena hops, absolutely amazed my friends. It is on my permanent brew list.

Before long, I had four Mr.Beer fermenters in my house. The Mr. Beer methods and equipment suit me to a tee. I’ve done many DME hop boil brews, and got some good laughs when I burned the first DME. I’ve gone on to brew many good batches, and truly have never stopped appreciating how awesome home brewing is. I’ve done some all grain batches, but have never veered from the Mr. Beer fermenters. Honestly, I feel I get excellent ales this way. I have learned a lot on the Mr.Beer Community forum, and thank everyone who has encouraged and enlightened me.

How long have you been brewing?
Since January, 2010.

What is your favorite beer?
I like all kinds of beers, light ales … stouts … reds … but I tend to favor the hoppier ones, and I really raved about American Devil IPA the first time I brewed it. Since then, I did a few ADIPA’s with some extra UME and hops… so I’m going to say ADIPA, but the Seasonal Trippel is very memorable as well.

Who would you most like to share a beer with?
Any veteran who served our country.